Tips on Applying Self Tanner From One Very White Girl

I am white as one can be without being a natural red head. I don't believe in sun bathing (I'd burn anyways) and I don't endorse fake baking (I'd burn anyways). I've recently decided white is the new tan. Though, I'm afraid most of our nation has yet to get on board with this beauty trend. Soon...very soon...

I do realize there are certain occasions where a little bit of color is flattering. For those occasions, I turn to self tanner. Over the years and after a few poor attempts at applying tanner, I've now mastered a system. 

For all you tan challenged folk or those who are just trying to avoid skin cancer but appreciate a nice summer glow, this process is for you. 

Pick your Potion: Choosing the right self tanner is vital. First, you want a lotion or foam oppose to a spray. Unless you are having someone else apply this stuff (and even then I'd still encourage lotion), you want something you can easily control and lotion can be manipulated more than spray. Secondly, pick tanner that is tinted. White lotion will blend into your pasty skin as soon as its applied and it becomes much more difficult to determine if you've evenly covered every area. I personally recommend St. Tropez self tan bronzing mouse. It comes with a foam mitten which allows you to easily apply the foam without getting those weird hand tan lines. (Honestly, I can't recommend this stuff enough. It doesn't even leave that tanner smell). 

The Shower Routine: Shower per usual but be sure to use some type of exfoliater while washing. A luffa will suffice though shower gel with micro scrubbing beads is encouraged. Next, grab a fresh razor. Those legs need to be freshly shaven. 

Pre-Lotion: This is where most people fall short in their self tanning routine. They leave out a pre-lotion. Grab some body lotion and lather up any parts you plan to apply tanner to. 

Get Comfortable Being Naked: Apply tanner one appendage at a time. I recommend the following order: legs, arms, back, front torso, chest, face. Stay naked for as long as you can. (Play this to help pass the time while you're walking around naked in your living room). One hour should be sufficient. It's important to allow time for the product to dry and be absorbed into your skin. Initially avoid light colored clothing. 

Admire Your Glow: You are stunning. 

Almost translucently white, before shot. 

Portraying a human with somewhat normal circulation, after shot.